A Bug's Life

So I see this bug peeking it's head out from underneath the sliding door track on my porch. I thought it was a grasshopper at first, but then it came down and exposed it's rare self. I had no idea what it was but began taking pictures about 2 inches away from it with my phone. It froze of course, and I wasn't sure it wouldn't attack me, but I was confident that if need be I could snap my hand back before it could do it's attacking. So I take about 20 pictures of this bug from all angles, and then sit back down in my lawn chair.  The bug stayed froze for probably 4 or 5 minutes before it started moving. When it did finally start moving, its steps were graceful like that of cat, but delicate like a spider. Actually it reminded me of a cross-country skier in slow motion. There's maybe a 3 inch gap from the track of the sliding glass door down to the wood floor of the porch, and the bug had reached it's 2 front legs up to the track. It then pulled each set of legs up to the track in unison 2 at a time, until all 6 legs were on the track. Next it began to try and walk the length of the track, heading towards the door. It fell in its first 2 attempts almost right away, but by the third attempt, it was finally moving across the track without falling. I was watching pretty closely at each right leg, as the end would get stuck in the millimeter crack of the sidewall, and each time the bug would have a slight pause as it would unstick it's leg ending. I would say it had been about 20 minutes since the conclusion of my picture taking, and the bug had made it across the track to the corner of the door. It then began to climb straight up the side of the door frame, ever so slowly, making sure not to fall and have to start over again. I was thinking to myself that I'd feel kinda bad if it fell, as this was becoming quite a long journey timewise, yet it had only moved 4 ft. Once it made it to the top corner, it then walked back towards the way it had came originally, gently traveling across the top of the door frame. Now I could see that soon there may be a problem, as the bug was approaching a point where the track was coming to an end, unless it went higher onto the wood siding of the house. And sure enough when it got there, I saw the bug outreach it's legs as far as they would go hoping to be able to grab onto the ledge, but it was just too high. The bug would need to have sticky feet or something to scale the wall, which I was pretty sure it didn't. So afer the bug made sure it could no longer reach any point in any direction it began to rub it's front 2 legs together like a fly does when it lands on your arm. Actually that's probably what a lot of insects do I imagine, but anyways, I was thinking wow, it's actualy working up some sticky goo or somethin to scale this wall. It continued to do that, as I continued to watch, then it stopped and turned it's body to where it's front 2 antennas or whatever, not to be confused with it's front 2 legs, were positioned right at me, so being that it's eyes were back on it's body directly behind these antennas, I knew it was looking right at me. It stayed that way for about 2 minutes, and then.... IT JUMPED! I didn't get startled, as I was already back leaning on the porch ledge, as far from the bug as I could get. I had been positioned there ever since I saw the fork in the bug's road approaching and wasn't sure how the bug would react. So the bug jumps off the top track of the sliding door, and as it was in the air about a half inch lower than where it had jumped from, it pulled out it's wings and flew over my head and into the surrounding winderness. I was amazed, this little bug just spent an hour walkin and fallin and slippin and stahlin all over my porch to try and move itself up in the world only to get to the top and then flip out some it's little bug back wings and fly off with ease. I didn't mention it, but I could see the wing membranes laying on it's back when I was taking pictures, but seeing how it never used them for an hour long trip of 8 square feet, I just assumed they weren't really wings. The bug looked weird from the getgo anyways, so I didn't think much of it at first. So the bug is far gone now, and I head inside to try and see if I can use this here intro net to find identify this bug that has captivated my attention for the past hour and a half. I google insect identification, and shortly change the search to florida insect identification to try and narrow it down. I wasn't sure if it was a kind of mayfly, or grasshopper, or what really so it took some searching around but then I came across a picture of the same looking bug. It's called Arilus cristatus, or more commonly a wheel bug. Some also call it an assassin bug. Anyways, it's in the true bug category, which are bugs that poke and suck and inflict pain. I also learned it has a defense like that of a stink bug, in which it emits an unpleasant odor when it's disturbed. So I'm not sure if I smell of Arilus cristatus or not, but hopefully my intrusion on the insect's capers were a welcome addition to the wheel bug's day. I also learned that it has a nasty bite more painful than a bee sting, and in some cases the bite can take months to heal and may even leave a scar. I'll remind you I was within inches of this guy's mouth for a twenty minute photo shoot in the beginning of our meeting. So anyways, I felt compelled to share this with whoever may still be reading because I feel as though I conquered a small piece of the world today. I had no idea what I had just witnessed, but after 15 minutes on the internet I found exactly what it was I had saw, and even learned a little bit about it's life. We should all take the time to look at what's around us and then learn about it, as sometimes it seems the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.

m.i.c.a.h.